Life.. in snapshots

Everything has a story

When I got divorced and subsequently moved 4 times in the past 6 years.. space became precious.. things became superfluous.. with a few exceptions..

The Bourbon Decanter on the right was my grandmothers.. I wish I had spent more time with her.. It has been preciously packed and moved and resides in my kitchen window for now.. It has been with me for 28 years and I hope one of my children will treasure it when I am gone..

The Bowl in the center was my mothers.. an unimportant forgotten “thing” left behind after her estate sale.. It is Porcelain and Lead.. an Oriental design and holds a beautiful Green Glass bottle stopper for a bottle I have never seen..

The Wire Chicken basket on the left was a gift from my youngest daughter .. she found it at an Antique shop and we plan to start using it to collect our eggs this spring..  filling it with memories that only a Wire Chicken Basket can hold..

The red and white Crochet item in the Chicken Basket was my mothers.. it moves from place to place in my life and home… and will likely return to residing on a shelf under a glass bowl of sort sort soon.. I don’t want it to get too sun faded..

The gray building out my window is a Sauna we are going to do some minor fixing to this spring and it will become the focal point of my back yard.. surrounded by a simple patio and flower and vegetable planters.. Tiki torches and Adirondack chairs on the left and in front and horse pasture to the right.. and adorned with simple paintings my younger daughter and I did last fall.. and become an interesting View even in the winter..

Life in snapshots..

Blacksheep

Sunday Morning Cow Church

So clean… and quiet until 190 various personalities come in and mess up the joint. .

One of my favorite cows is Emma…

Emma is a total ham for the camera..

Well hello…

I’m SO pretty!

Are cameras yummy? Let me lick it!

Fay is photogenic .. and rather unimpressed. .

The past 18 months have been… well.. a struggle and I am still grieving the losses I’ve suffered. . Someone once told me grieving is sometimes done in bits and parts and pieces. .. and that is what I am doing..

Learning to Loving these cows… like I loved Vi’s cows is taking some time..

Blacksheep

Ivan the Formidable

Ivan IV Vasilyevich commonly known as Ivan the Terrible or Ivan the Fearsome…a better translation into modern English would be Ivan the Formidable), was the Grand Prince of Moscow from 1533 to 1547, then “Tsar of All the Russias” until his death

This boy has captured me heart and soul.. He truly is the Grand Prince of our family…   A fearsome Formidable friend and companion… Loyal and protective. Sweet with our old lady dogs, gently with the cats.. always alert.. that green Chuckit ball is doomed.. lol

He is Ivan.

And he is perfect.

Blacksheep

All or nothing

I am learning…

That in my life, this life.

There are not.. cannot be.. will be no half measures.

It is all or nothing in everything I do.

What this means for my future is not entirely clear but I am beginning to have ideas.

New ideas, scary ideas, fabulously wonderfully different ideas that can and will shape my future.

One moment, one thing, one idea at a time.

…blacksheep

things.. and stuff and my Puppy!

been just rolling along…. working, doing mom stuff…

Ivan the day I brought him home.. SIX WEEKS AGO…

and he has at LEAST quadrupled in size!

He is a very smart puppy… I forgot how focused a GSD can be…

As I will never pee alone again. but that’s ok.. since my kids grew up a bit I find I have trouble peeing when alone.. lol

so, even with my Ivan keeping me busy.. I have found myself with too much free time.. time to think.. and today I went to Ruby’s Pantry.. a “Pay $20 and get lots more than $20 worth of stuff” place.. cuz I am still kinda poor.. and I ran into my old bosses friend.. who was so glad to see me.. she promised Vi that she would keep an eye on me and she did not know how to get a hold of me these last 8 months.. we talked.. and then.. I cried… quietly.. I tend to deny stress.. pretend that all the Big things…(my friend dying, losing my cows and job, losing my mother, herniating discs in my back, tearing tendons in my knee, frostbite on my toes, MOVING, job hunting.. just so much) going on are really just little things and that I can handle them all.. which I CAN.. but I rarely give into the stress.. I just keep on going.. seeing my beloved friends friend.. made me miss her even more.. little by little I am acknowledging things and working them out.. and in the mean time.. I am trying to remain positive and happy… and mostly.. it’s working.. having a puppy helps..

Hopefully I will be back here regularly again soon..

blacksheep

Old and new… again

When your current struggles are less than your previous struggles…

And you still sometimes have to sit and count your blessings…

Comparing them to the progress you’ve made… 

When certain movies make you crying mad.. 

When your discontent momentarily overwhelms  your joy… 

When you absolutely must blast some music from old play lists…

 to drown out the nagging little voice in your head that keeps trying to rise above a whisper

 “you could do better, do more”. 

When your work ethic and the needs of your pain filled body conflict. 

 When your children say .. “it’s ok mom, we understand” 

and they shouldn’t have to anymore. 

 When people in your life, just by being their true selves, drag you down and back… 

and you wonder if maybe you’d be better off on your own again… 
But… I’m still ok.  Life is hard but I’m still strong. .

 

I’m quiet and contemplative much of the time… little by little working things out in my head and making plans … plans for a bright future… it’s just moving a little sideways and slower than I’d like. 

As I crawl into bed tonight my head filled with a days accumulation of “stuff and things”

This…

This brings me peace.

Old lady dog and new pup…

Blacksheep 

Sunday Morning Cow Church (Monday edition )

How. Does. He. Manage. THIS?!?

Any halter

Almost every day….

This one horse has lost NINE halters in FOUR years!

In other news,

With more time off and living on the farm I’m working I not only have found time to play with my horses, build nice stalls, put in a container garden (a greenhouse and BIG Garden next year) spin yarn and crochet again regularly.. I have had time to learn to draw!  My mother recently passed away and my younger daughter and I acquired a large out of her art supplies…. I decided I wanted to sketch some flowers…. 

And so… I did.

I am not an artist… have zero talent for any drawing or painting. … but I still like to try. . I spent an entire afternoon this weekend just sketching dandelions… lol

Blacksheep

Sunday Morning Cow Church

A day late and a species off.

I like big butts 

A lot!

Sunday Morning Cow Church

This little one ran from heifer to heifer asking ?

Are you my mama?

Are YOU my mama?

WHO is my mama?  

Then mama stepped up and fed her breakfast…

I LOVE my job! !!!!!

Sunday Morning Cow church

So.. It seems that I have landed.. at least temporarily.. I have milked on this big farm several times a week for 2 and 1/2 years.. since the house I have been renting for almost 4 years has been sold, we have till the end of the school yer to move.. we are looking for housing on or very near this farm.. The owners value me as an employee and are working hard to get me a place and then I will permanently land here.. if not.. I will keep moving along..

the Sunrise here is beautiful, different but beautiful

The parlor is very nice.. modern and efficient. 17 aside New Zealand Swing Style with automatic takeoffs..

It takes 2 of us and We milk anywhere from a low 150 cows to a high of 225.. it’s funny how I don’t always recognize every face.. but I know who is who by Udder and Moo.. lol

The ladies here are top quality.. and I personally like most of them.. although my absolute favorite lady is out on vacation.. I will introduce her in a few weeks when she gets back..

 

I really hope this position can become permanent and full time for me.. There are learning and growing opportunities here.. I will get to milk full time, do some calf care and be an assistant to the herdsman..

but most of all.. Here there will be safety and security for me and my family..

 

Blacksheep