Sunday Morning Cow Church

… a year

…..and a day

So much has changed… and so much has stayed the same.. I miss my boss, my friend and the cows… they were each very special and each left a permanent mark on who I am.. I promise to never forget what they taught me…

Yesterday I waited till everyone was gone from the barn and I sat with this brand new baby and I cried… I cried about everything I lost and about all the changes the past year brought… I cried because. . Like the cows… I thrive on consistency. ..

But… I think I’m gonna make it. .. even if things change again in the future… that is the lesson I’m trying to learn.. that no matter what.. I.. we are going to be ok..

I’m 2 thirds finished with the prayer shawl I’m crocheting to donate in memory of my late friend…

It’s called Violet in blues.. I hope that whoever ends up with it truly feels the love I put into each stitch…

And here is one of my favorite cows ..

#119. After every milking she stands at the front of the parlor.. puts her head in the side of the trimming stanchion.. and listens to the radio while she waits for her friend.. simple little things that I’d do well to remember. .

Blacksheep

Advertisements

Sunday Morning Cow Church

So clean… and quiet until 190 various personalities come in and mess up the joint. .

One of my favorite cows is Emma…

Emma is a total ham for the camera..

Well hello…

I’m SO pretty!

Are cameras yummy? Let me lick it!

Fay is photogenic .. and rather unimpressed. .

The past 18 months have been… well.. a struggle and I am still grieving the losses I’ve suffered. . Someone once told me grieving is sometimes done in bits and parts and pieces. .. and that is what I am doing..

Learning to Loving these cows… like I loved Vi’s cows is taking some time..

Blacksheep

All or nothing

I am learning…

That in my life, this life.

There are not.. cannot be.. will be no half measures.

It is all or nothing in everything I do.

What this means for my future is not entirely clear but I am beginning to have ideas.

New ideas, scary ideas, fabulously wonderfully different ideas that can and will shape my future.

One moment, one thing, one idea at a time.

…blacksheep

things.. and stuff and my Puppy!

been just rolling along…. working, doing mom stuff…

Ivan the day I brought him home.. SIX WEEKS AGO…

and he has at LEAST quadrupled in size!

He is a very smart puppy… I forgot how focused a GSD can be…

As I will never pee alone again. but that’s ok.. since my kids grew up a bit I find I have trouble peeing when alone.. lol


so, even with my Ivan keeping me busy.. I have found myself with too much free time.. time to think.. and today I went to Ruby’s Pantry.. a “Pay $20 and get lots more than $20 worth of stuff” place.. cuz I am still kinda poor.. and I ran into my old bosses friend.. who was so glad to see me.. she promised Vi that she would keep an eye on me and she did not know how to get a hold of me these last 8 months.. we talked.. and then.. I cried… quietly.. I tend to deny stress.. pretend that all the Big things…(my friend dying, losing my cows and job, losing my mother, herniating discs in my back, tearing tendons in my knee, frostbite on my toes, MOVING, job hunting.. just so much) going on are really just little things and that I can handle them all.. which I CAN.. but I rarely give into the stress.. I just keep on going.. seeing my beloved friends friend.. made me miss her even more.. little by little I am acknowledging things and working them out.. and in the mean time.. I am trying to remain positive and happy… and mostly.. it’s working.. having a puppy helps..

Hopefully I will be back here regularly again soon..

blacksheep

Sunday Morning Cow Church 

The world is so full of hate and ugliness lately…

Here’s a picture of this mornings beautiful sunrise.

A darling red calf.. looking for milk handouts… even tho she is off the stuff.. it still calls her soul.

And for the grand finally. .

My dogs adorable butts.. one fluffy and one wiggley 

My sincere hope is that your day is Filled with love and light..

…blacksheep