Life.. in snapshots

Everything has a story

When I got divorced and subsequently moved 4 times in the past 6 years.. space became precious.. things became superfluous.. with a few exceptions..

The Bourbon Decanter on the right was my grandmothers.. I wish I had spent more time with her.. It has been preciously packed and moved and resides in my kitchen window for now.. It has been with me for 28 years and I hope one of my children will treasure it when I am gone..

The Bowl in the center was my mothers.. an unimportant forgotten “thing” left behind after her estate sale.. It is Porcelain and Lead.. an Oriental design and holds a beautiful Green Glass bottle stopper for a bottle I have never seen..

The Wire Chicken basket on the left was a gift from my youngest daughter .. she found it at an Antique shop and we plan to start using it to collect our eggs this spring..  filling it with memories that only a Wire Chicken Basket can hold..

The red and white Crochet item in the Chicken Basket was my mothers.. it moves from place to place in my life and home… and will likely return to residing on a shelf under a glass bowl of sort sort soon.. I don’t want it to get too sun faded..

The gray building out my window is a Sauna we are going to do some minor fixing to this spring and it will become the focal point of my back yard.. surrounded by a simple patio and flower and vegetable planters.. Tiki torches and Adirondack chairs on the left and in front and horse pasture to the right.. and adorned with simple paintings my younger daughter and I did last fall.. and become an interesting View even in the winter..

Life in snapshots..

Blacksheep

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Sunday Morning Cow Church

So clean… and quiet until 190 various personalities come in and mess up the joint. .

One of my favorite cows is Emma…

Emma is a total ham for the camera..

Well hello…

I’m SO pretty!

Are cameras yummy? Let me lick it!

Fay is photogenic .. and rather unimpressed. .

The past 18 months have been… well.. a struggle and I am still grieving the losses I’ve suffered. . Someone once told me grieving is sometimes done in bits and parts and pieces. .. and that is what I am doing..

Learning to Loving these cows… like I loved Vi’s cows is taking some time..

Blacksheep

Old and new… again

When your current struggles are less than your previous struggles…

And you still sometimes have to sit and count your blessings…

Comparing them to the progress you’ve made… 

When certain movies make you crying mad.. 

When your discontent momentarily overwhelms  your joy… 

When you absolutely must blast some music from old play lists…

 to drown out the nagging little voice in your head that keeps trying to rise above a whisper

 “you could do better, do more”. 

When your work ethic and the needs of your pain filled body conflict. 

 When your children say .. “it’s ok mom, we understand” 

and they shouldn’t have to anymore. 

 When people in your life, just by being their true selves, drag you down and back… 

and you wonder if maybe you’d be better off on your own again… 
But… I’m still ok.  Life is hard but I’m still strong. .

 

I’m quiet and contemplative much of the time… little by little working things out in my head and making plans … plans for a bright future… it’s just moving a little sideways and slower than I’d like. 

As I crawl into bed tonight my head filled with a days accumulation of “stuff and things”

This…

This brings me peace.

Old lady dog and new pup…

Blacksheep 

time…

I have been spending it.. which is ok.. since I have nothing else to spend.. lol

Spending it with my kids, working, getting my feelings hurt.. recovering.. worrying that if I hurt less.. it might mean I miss something.. I just hope it means I am getting smarter.

it has been a while since a photo opportunity has presented it self to me.. and it’s not like I have not been looking.. waiting.. hoping..

Frosty Post

FINALLY!! Some color. FINALLY!! Some color.

Taken with tried and true trusty Ipod.. I am still searching for my camera cord..

so back I go.. to parent, work, and learn.. to hope and dream.. to wait

Black Sheep

This cow finds me.. Intriguing..

This Cow, 168 acts like a regular cow..

Till I am in the pit in the Milking Parlor..

If I leave the butt gate open she will wander in..

and check me out…

comes in the open gate, looks and looks at me under the bar

she got a little shy when I started taking her picture..

Then she got all Nosey.. lol

she takes a closer look .. maybe I look funny..

There have been big changes in my life in the past few months.. and also big changes in my dad’s life.. and while I hate to see the end of a marriage.. god knows I hung on to my own dead one for long enough.. my dad is finally leaving a very unhappy marriage and even tho it is only in the beginning stages.. I have gotten to talk to him more in the last few weeks than I have in a few years.. His wife isolated him from all of us.. I am very glad to be getting my dad back in my life.. He always has a lot of good advice, funny stories and Time.. just time to listen to me.. I really missed that.. I can’t wait to see more of dad.. and see him happy again.

Yesterday we talked about cows.. He grew up on a farm and as a boy he could milk.. Buy Hand.. 15 cows in under an hour.. LOL.. it takes me about that long to milk the 18 I am milking.. My boss could milk 50 in an hour.. with the machines of course.. but Still!!

I am pleased to say I am getting better at my job.. We have gone from milking 11 when I started to 18 and I am learning to recognize problems before they effect our milk quality.. and that has brought our somatic cell count way way down to a good number.. and if things keep getting better.. soon the milk buyer will be giving bonuses again to my boss for quality..

I am still sick.. but came home from work yesterday and went to bed for several hours.. Sleep was desperately needed.. Then I listened to the weather reports.. we were supposed to be getting SNOW!!  so off to get fuel for the furnace I went.. OMG!!  it was so nice to wake up to a warm house this morning.. I mean we are tough people here.. my kids and I.. but it was getting a little miserable..  and, btw, no snow here as of this morning.. I think the high winds blew it north of us..

so.. off to work I go..

Black Sheep

 

 

a shit scraper cheers me up…

holy wow.. I am starting to feel damn near at the end of my reserves..
Seven weeks now I have been sick.. and yup.. pneumonia is back.
I am going to just try to get through this work day…

Inspection was moved from yesterday.. to tomorrow.. Today is finishing day and the Coup de grace.. I acquired a running lawn tractor to replace the non running one and it is almost sad.. I am excited as hell about being able to scrape the barn every day!!  lol  I am just glad tho.. that I am making.. even in some small ways.. life better for the cows.. my boss.. and eventually myself.

another very nice Ipod pic.. sure is a trusty little thing.

and no… I am not laying or sitting on the ground.. The grass is THAT tall..

off to get kids up and off to school then off for another full day of work for me.

Black Sheep

 

around the “block”

SO. .worked my rear off for weeks now..

Ceiling in the parlor is painted white.. walls are white.. all the doors and frames are red. Cement floor in the parlor is patched, a new skill for me!  A new cabinet on the wall in the milk house for supplies.. new hoses.. a full first aid kit.. even a freaking sharps container!! and clean EVERYTHING!

I think we are ready for the inspection.

Was driving home from work.. drove by a beautiful Milkweed bending and blowing in the wind and shining in the sun.. but was just too wiped out to stop and take a picture and regretted it as soon as I went by..

Soooo I drove “around the block”  lol

One shot was all I got.. but I am not disappointed in the least..

batteries died after this one shot.. but the drive back was worth it!

then I came home… tried to take a nap.. but failed to hire adequate security.. lol.. kids came home.. neighbors and friends came by.. dogs barking, cars driving by..  phone kept chiming.. I spent a LOT of years living on 60 acres at the end of a 1/2 mile dead end road in the middle of no where.. and napping after work here is  bit challenging..

One more day of “this and that” before inspection.. I want to make a darn good impression for my boss.. her business gets better.. she makes money.. I make money.. simple as that.. and..I like the cows..

Black Sheep