Sunday Morning Cow church

So.. It seems that I have landed.. at least temporarily.. I have milked on this big farm several times a week for 2 and 1/2 years.. since the house I have been renting for almost 4 years has been sold, we have till the end of the school yer to move.. we are looking for housing on or very near this farm.. The owners value me as an employee and are working hard to get me a place and then I will permanently land here.. if not.. I will keep moving along..

the Sunrise here is beautiful, different but beautiful

The parlor is very nice.. modern and efficient. 17 aside New Zealand Swing Style with automatic takeoffs..

It takes 2 of us and We milk anywhere from a low 150 cows to a high of 225.. it’s funny how I don’t always recognize every face.. but I know who is who by Udder and Moo.. lol

The ladies here are top quality.. and I personally like most of them.. although my absolute favorite lady is out on vacation.. I will introduce her in a few weeks when she gets back..

 

I really hope this position can become permanent and full time for me.. There are learning and growing opportunities here.. I will get to milk full time, do some calf care and be an assistant to the herdsman..

but most of all.. Here there will be safety and security for me and my family..

 

Blacksheep

time…

I have been spending it.. which is ok.. since I have nothing else to spend.. lol

Spending it with my kids, working, getting my feelings hurt.. recovering.. worrying that if I hurt less.. it might mean I miss something.. I just hope it means I am getting smarter.

it has been a while since a photo opportunity has presented it self to me.. and it’s not like I have not been looking.. waiting.. hoping..

Frosty Post

FINALLY!! Some color. FINALLY!! Some color.

Taken with tried and true trusty Ipod.. I am still searching for my camera cord..

so back I go.. to parent, work, and learn.. to hope and dream.. to wait

Black Sheep

what a weekend!

16 to 19 hours days since Thursday.. working my usual morning shift and going in in the evening trying to get everyone tagged, photographed and get some paperwork done..  I am taking over management of the dairy herd.. so much to learn! But I am LOVING the challenge.

I am Wore out..

I am taking this evening off.. sitting with my kids, playing with my puppy, making a nice sit down meal and relaxing..

I looked for pics all weekend…  and only yesterday morning did I find anything..

after days of nothing but gray skies.. COLOR!

Black Sheep

look back once in a while

We all do..

Sometimes it is a phone call, a gimps of someone or something, a text, or even a photo..

We all look back.. the trick is to adjust your focus so the present is clear…. and so is the past.

sometimes hard to do when you are still moving forward..

Funny sometimes how my brain works.. This post and picture have nothing what so ever to do with leaving my husband.. it looks that way.. it reads that way.. but it is not.

Black Sheep

sunset… moonrise

Frustrated to near tears over inability to capture how this really looked..

I did manage a nice Sunset pic.. I took the moon pic.. just turned around and took the sunset one.. lol..

words are elusive these days… and the camera is fickle…

and I am waiting for a place to land.. rest.. recoup and recover from the  latest blow..

black sheep

Finally Something..

It has been a very tough week..

Not many pictures I have even Tried to take have been worth a crap… I am going to chalk it up to how I have been feeling.. Lost and alone.. sure for just a few minutes at a time.. but the feeling has been just under the surface since I learned my ex is letting the house go back to the bank..  Gone is the small bit of security I had.. gone  and well sure, I’ll be fine.. I’ll manage, do something different than I planned.. all that crap.. but it has colored my perspective a bit for the moment..

looking for a new perspective.. hoping for something to shine for me.

Black Sheep

 

today it rains

yesterday’s sunrise was

view from home

 

on my way to work

Today it is all rain out there..

Today is a     “just make it through the next few moments and you”ll manage” kind of day.. if I can just get through work this morning.. I have tomorrow off .. so I can come home and give in to this fatigue.. I hate to complain about MS because for me it is relatively harmless.. in the grand scheme of things I do pretty well..  but it is always there.. lurking on the edge of my every day.. and sometimes.. roaring on to the scene.. making me recognize it.. unfailingly.. always there.. somewhere..    Mostly I hate that  I still don’t completely understand this disease.. that it keeps changing just as I think I have it figured out and have won a battle it comes up with something new to remind me that this is a life time war..  I really hate that it is like some dirty little secret I have.. something to almost hide.. lie about.. or rather exclude the truth with most people I meet.. it is such a hard thing to explain..
off to work now.. to just make it through this morning.. pretending to be just like anyone else.. and live this life..

Black Sheep

 

 

 

 

old shed.. again

taken in September of 2008 with an old Olympus FE110

I think I was trying to take a picture of the setting sun.. and silly me.. thought it was kind of a crap picture.. NOW..it is exactly the kind of thing love to try to capture..

Black Sheep

a shit scraper cheers me up…

holy wow.. I am starting to feel damn near at the end of my reserves..
Seven weeks now I have been sick.. and yup.. pneumonia is back.
I am going to just try to get through this work day…

Inspection was moved from yesterday.. to tomorrow.. Today is finishing day and the Coup de grace.. I acquired a running lawn tractor to replace the non running one and it is almost sad.. I am excited as hell about being able to scrape the barn every day!!  lol  I am just glad tho.. that I am making.. even in some small ways.. life better for the cows.. my boss.. and eventually myself.

another very nice Ipod pic.. sure is a trusty little thing.

and no… I am not laying or sitting on the ground.. The grass is THAT tall..

off to get kids up and off to school then off for another full day of work for me.

Black Sheep