Not many pictures I have even Tried to take have been worth a crap… I am going to chalk it up to how I have been feeling.. Lost and alone.. sure for just a few minutes at a time.. but the feeling has been just under the surface since I learned my ex is letting the house go back to the bank.. Gone is the small bit of security I had.. gone and well sure, I’ll be fine.. I’ll manage, do something different than I planned.. all that crap.. but it has colored my perspective a bit for the moment..
looking for a new perspective.. hoping for something to shine for me.
Today is a “just make it through the next few moments and you”ll manage” kind of day.. if I can just get through work this morning.. I have tomorrow off .. so I can come home and give in to this fatigue.. I hate to complain about MS because for me it is relatively harmless.. in the grand scheme of things I do pretty well.. but it is always there.. lurking on the edge of my every day.. and sometimes.. roaring on to the scene.. making me recognize it.. unfailingly.. always there.. somewhere.. Mostly I hate that I still don’t completely understand this disease.. that it keeps changing just as I think I have it figured out and have won a battle it comes up with something new to remind me that this is a life time war.. I really hate that it is like some dirty little secret I have.. something to almost hide.. lie about.. or rather exclude the truth with most people I meet.. it is such a hard thing to explain..
off to work now.. to just make it through this morning.. pretending to be just like anyone else.. and live this life..
I took my daughter to the clinic for a recheck of her injured leg..
OH.. That’s right.. I did not say here what happened last weekend.. LOL
Well… my 11 year old daughter was playing in the barn.. where she was not supposed to be.. and got a Pitchfork stuck in her leg!! in by her shin and out the back of her calf.. she pulled it out.. walked to the house aided by her totally freaked out 4 year old sister.. surprisingly little blood! They did Surgery to make sure there was no major damage and to clean it out.. It’s all good and she is healing well.. and let me say.. BRAVE GIRL!
We got to the clinic and were surprised to see some flowers, not only hanging in there.. but full and bright.. these are the best of what I took.. It was COLD and WINDY.. but the girls wanted me to take pictures..
We are already missing the colors of summer…
Pretty in Pink
Not sure what this plant is called but it’s a beautiful ..Ravishing Red…
These were taken with my Ipod.. and I don’t think I am ever going to get over how some of the pictures I take with it turn out.. I took some with my camera but have not had time to even look at them yet..
I worked worked the last 4 milking’s and have the day off today.. Planning to get back to work on the window insulation project I was in the middle of when my daughter got hurt.. and get outside and get some posts in the ground for my arena before the ground gets too frozen… get outside and gather stuff from the edges of the yard to burn.. This weekend my bestest friend is coming over and we have plans for a bonfire.. a big pot of chili and homemade cornbread.. and of course.. Margaritas.. I really like this life..
Everyone makes mistakes..
I HATE making them..
I just hate it.
I thought I make a mistake at work this morning..
Was too much going on and I was not paying close enough attention.. It would not have been the total end of the world.. but I would have felt bad about it for a long time..
I spent hours today asking the universe.. praying that I did not do what I thought I did..
and It turns out..
My Prayers were answered..
I now pray for the opportunity to return the good luck and balance things..