just like that
it was over
Yesterday at 11:00 I milked the girls for the last time. Then I helped load them up for their trip to a dairy cow auction in southern MN
It was unequivocally one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.. without tears in my eyes for the girls sake..
and then after a unbelievably hard day this happened
After a day (a week really) full of nothing but stress and uncertainty and so . much. anger. directed at me.. the simple kind words of a virtual stranger made the end of this day.. survivable.
“I’m sorry this is happening to you, I know how hard it must be. Stay strong you never know what might happen. Be kind to yourself you did a great job and I am sure she would be proud of you” -stranger
and then this stranger sent someone to the auction and maybe.. possibly buy some of the girls… I may never know but at least there is a glimmer of hope for something good for the girls.
Then there was this morning.. for the first day in 4 1/2 years. no work , no cows to milk and my phone died and my alarm did not go off.. so we got up late..
Im now living in a strange world.. where you can drive your kids to school and go to the grocery store all before 9 am.
Just trying to fit in.
Oh…. and no cow and silage smell trailing me everywhere.
not sure what comes next…
I have a part time job that offered me a few more shifts per week but I need full time to support my family..
and then there was
my landlord sold the house I have been renting.. I have hopefully till my daughters are out of school in June to move..
Perhaps I will divest myself of Everything that won’t fit into a truck and take the girls off on an adventure.. perhaps..
I hope to come back to Sunday Morning Cow Church.. maybe from my part time cow job we can connect again.. or somewhere else..