Sunday Morning Cow church

So.. It seems that I have landed.. at least temporarily.. I have milked on this big farm several times a week for 2 and 1/2 years.. since the house I have been renting for almost 4 years has been sold, we have till the end of the school yer to move.. we are looking for housing on or very near this farm.. The owners value me as an employee and are working hard to get me a place and then I will permanently land here.. if not.. I will keep moving along..

the Sunrise here is beautiful, different but beautiful

The parlor is very nice.. modern and efficient. 17 aside New Zealand Swing Style with automatic takeoffs..

It takes 2 of us and We milk anywhere from a low 150 cows to a high of 225.. it’s funny how I don’t always recognize every face.. but I know who is who by Udder and Moo.. lol

The ladies here are top quality.. and I personally like most of them.. although my absolute favorite lady is out on vacation.. I will introduce her in a few weeks when she gets back..

 

I really hope this position can become permanent and full time for me.. There are learning and growing opportunities here.. I will get to milk full time, do some calf care and be an assistant to the herdsman..

but most of all.. Here there will be safety and security for me and my family..

 

Blacksheep

Sunday morning Cow Church

and

just like that

it was over

16707252_1440558412635461_3437370997804196762_oYesterday at 11:00 I milked the girls for the last time. Then I helped load them up for their trip to a dairy cow auction in southern MN

It was unequivocally one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.. without tears in my eyes for the girls sake..

and then after a unbelievably hard day this happened

After a day (a week really) full of nothing but stress and uncertainty and so . much. anger. directed at me.. the simple kind words of a virtual stranger made the end of this day.. survivable.

“I’m sorry this is happening to you, I know how hard it must be.  Stay strong you never know what might happen. Be kind to yourself you did a great job and I am sure she would be proud of you”  -stranger

and then this stranger sent someone to the auction and maybe.. possibly buy some of the girls… I may never know but at least there is a glimmer of hope for something good for the girls.

Then there was this morning.. for the first day in 4 1/2 years. no work , no cows to milk and my phone died and my alarm did not go off.. so we got up late..

..and

Im now living in a strange world.. where you can drive your kids to school and go to the grocery store all before 9 am.
Just trying to fit in.
Oh…. and no cow and silage smell trailing me everywhere.

not sure what comes next…

I have a part time job that offered me a few more shifts per week but I need full time to support my family..

and then there was

THIS

my landlord sold the house I have been renting.. I have hopefully till my daughters are out of school in June to move..

Perhaps I will divest myself of Everything that won’t fit into a truck and take the girls off on an adventure.. perhaps..

I hope to come back to Sunday Morning Cow Church.. maybe from my part time cow job we can connect again.. or somewhere else..

blacksheep

let it snow let it snow let it snow…

BRING IT ON!!!
8 inches of wet sloppy snow so far today… a possible 12 more to come..
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Farm – Cows got milked this morning… relief milker is staying at the farm to cover this pm and tomorrow am milking.. all calves and heifers are securely tucked away in loafing sheds.. cows are safely in barn with plenty of feed..
Home – horses and cows have bales
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young stock/steers are tucked in shed with plenty of bedding/water/hay.. babies locked in hutch with warm water delivered every 3 hours.. “room service”
bacon cheeseburger and fries on deck for dinner – Check!
Popcorn cued for movie – Check!
nothing left to do but watch it snow watch it snow watch it snow – Check!
and nap..
oh so happily home-bound and snowed in..
blacksheep

Sunday Morning Cow Church

Sunday morning cow church. ..
After a hellishly long week
I came home to my own newest parishioners. Full of milk now and all tucked in snug and warm for a nice Sunday afternoon nap… sweet dreams “Phineas and ferb”

14601102_1319941504697153_6957302432396767841_n…blacksheep

PEOPLE are crazy!!

Seriously.. Society and all it participants are fucking NUTS! …just saying

for the first time in 6 months.. I am shutting down and backing the fuck away from those around me.. too much drama.. too much shit.. I spent many many years alone.. isolated on my farm.. and this shit.. these people and their shit.. how they try to blame and drag me and mine into it all.. is just too much for me for a while.. I am going to close and lock the door.. not answer the phone.. gather my dogs and kids close.. go to work and come home.. need people as little as possible.. and let me tell you.. I am a FUCKING MASTER at not needing people.. for long long periods of time..

"told ya somethin was comin.. listen sooner next time"

“told ya somethin was comin.. listen sooner next time”

Time to spend with kids and dogs and horse.. reading books, learning about my job,  taking pics of what moves me.. spinning the yarn I need.. unwinding my brain.. letting people untangle from me, my kids and my life..

Black Sheep

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fresh Hot Apple Pie kinda happy

I had all but forgotten how much I love to bake..

baking pie.. cooking soup..my daughter singing and dancing in my kitchen.. dogs lounging quietly, Puppy sleeping in a kids lap.. and a peace in my heart..

This kind of happy.. is why I left.. and what we all need more of..

Black Sheep