We all do..
Sometimes it is a phone call, a gimps of someone or something, a text, or even a photo..
We all look back.. the trick is to adjust your focus so the present is clear…. and so is the past.
Funny sometimes how my brain works.. This post and picture have nothing what so ever to do with leaving my husband.. it looks that way.. it reads that way.. but it is not.
Frustrated to near tears over inability to capture how this really looked..
I did manage a nice Sunset pic.. I took the moon pic.. just turned around and took the sunset one.. lol..
and I am waiting for a place to land.. rest.. recoup and recover from the latest blow..
It has been a very tough week..
Not many pictures I have even Tried to take have been worth a crap… I am going to chalk it up to how I have been feeling.. Lost and alone.. sure for just a few minutes at a time.. but the feeling has been just under the surface since I learned my ex is letting the house go back to the bank.. Gone is the small bit of security I had.. gone and well sure, I’ll be fine.. I’ll manage, do something different than I planned.. all that crap.. but it has colored my perspective a bit for the moment..
as are most of the pictures I take..
I found the cord for my camera and these are two of what I found..
but I have to tell you.. I feel a storm coming.. just a feeling.. could be interesting..
and I have just been doing what I do..
Taking care of my kids, working, recovering, spending time with good friends….
sometimes wishing I had more time in each day…
to pursue the things I love to do..
to be with the people I love.. and love to be with..
“Happy” describes how the days go by..
I’ve been working them..
and a few days ago.. my body finally said.. “This is IT! I’m done!”
and when I was not working.. I was laying on the couch,
.. trying to get better and get my voice back.. the “Point and look at my kids menacingly” way of discipline just does not have the same effect as yelling.. they laugh at me..
today for the first time in almost 3 weeks I believe I am going to survive..
I milked cows this morning and OMG!! – between the slow learning new heifer, 3 cows in heat and my own pms .. I nearly kicked back after the fourth near miss..- I did give them a stern talking to.. lol .. it helped.. no one else tried to kick me..
Then I had a meeting for my youngest in regards to her FINALLY getting into preschool and then it was back to work to begin painting the parlor ceiling.. and prep the doors.. white milk house and parlor.. RED doors..
Then.. after work today I picked beans from my bosses garden.. it is supposed to frost tonight.. so I had free reign to take all I wanted.. I got 3/4 of a 5 gallon bucket full.
..although MS has decided I don’t really need to walk right most of the time.. at the moment it is more just irritating and moderately painful than debilitating.. I hope that with the cool weather it gets no worse.. cuz if I’m gonna look drunk.. I should be.. lol it’s interesting tho.. I don’t think I realize how often MS effects me till I start writing it down..
I think I am back and ready to live and play again.. and I pray I am never that sick again.