I wrote this in September of last year.. Fall always brings for me a.. “missing him” feeling.. and even tho life for me is so much better here.. sometimes I just find myself.. missing that horse..
Such a long time since the smell of hay has been mixed with the sound of tears.
The why really does not matter tonight.. the why of the tears that is.. The why of the time means more.. but even that matter only to us..
Arms crossed and head bowed with sobs and tears.. One mare stands strong touching an arm and then the other.. pushing slightly in to inspect a cheek.. not a fidget nor a worry.. Not a wrinkle near her eye.. not a purse of her lip.. She knows the how.. somehow.. she knows.
Oh how we both wish the other was with us.. He knew how to comfort us both.. He knew our strength and out weaknesses.. and he knew when a nuzzle was most appropriate. and when it was time to be done. He held us up and let us stand on our own.
Tonight we almost smelled him in our barn.. possibly a breeze he had traveled through once..
and She tells me.. It will all be ok.. go ahead and cry.. You are safe and I am you and yours and you are me and mine.. we have loved each others babies.. and laughed and mourned together and too far apart..
You need to be softer.. she whispers.. he always brought that for both of us..
Together we can cry again and learn to laugh.. once you are done crying.. no matter that you did not come here to cry for him.. you came here to cry… and mares take care of each other.